I puked a lego.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize