Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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