so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
