I've blown a few things in my day
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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