Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
