She said her name was "party"
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
