Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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