Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
