Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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