If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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