I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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