Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
