I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
