I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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