Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
