'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
