They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
