direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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