is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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