my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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