highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
