we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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