I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
