I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize