if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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