Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize