These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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