Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
