Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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