I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
