idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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