I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
