At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
