if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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