the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
