used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
