Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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