I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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