Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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