HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
