Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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