I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
