I bet he comes in French.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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