his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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