You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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