I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
