The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
