thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize