I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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