I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
