I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
