First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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