If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize