I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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