Only a mothe r could love this liver
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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