I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize