New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
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You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
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you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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